Continuing on our topic of perspective, today we will explore perspective of past events, particularly of our own past. Our past; as we know is our story, the events, happenings and paths walked that caused us to end up where we are now - and on the trajectory we are headed. Our perspective of the past not only includes the hard facts, but our individual vantage point of them. What we saw/felt/heard through our physical senses as well as emotions experienced that we attach to these events, both positive and negative. Past experiences, when considered in this light are then subjective; not in the concrete facts, but the colour our mind adds to them with emotions, thoughts and feelings layered on top. These filters that our minds construct can be effected by many variables: past experiences, interactions with other people earlier in the day, did we have breakfast that morning?! Because these experiences are subjective, they are then under some form of our control. This then would lead us to the conclusion that our past is then somewhat malleable and open to be altered; again not in fact, but in what those facts meant to us and how we conduct ourselves in this new light.
Have you ever considered why the same experience can be so different for two people? This layering effect that occurs in our minds colours the real world physical experience so that while one person found camping a fun adventure, the other hated not having daily showers or electronics; one person was terrified of sky-diving, while the other found it exhilarating. Putting myself into this scenario - I am not a fan of pets, the smell, the expense, but mostly I think it is because I find animals unpredictable. My perspective (and how I've subsequently allowed it to colour all interactions with animals) according to my mother, stemmed from an incident as a child getting knocked over by an excited dog (I have no recollection of this myself!). Had I had a different experience; or had I been able to alter the perspective by adjusting my emotions (rather than feeling slighted, having a more forgiving attitude for the dog's clumsiness) I may have had a completely different view on animals for the rest of my life!
While the perception of past events being altered through these added emotional layers is very interesting; I find it even more interesting that these filters can be adjusted - effectively changing someone's past. We have all experienced this to some degree; my clearest childhood example would come from sports. Many a time did I feel enraged in the heat of battle when a poor referee/umpire decision went against me. For weeks afterward if I put myself back in the event, I could easily develop the same level of internal rage I felt! As time went on however, these feelings would reduce, and with maturity I would come to realise that these things didn't really matter, and be able to understand the official's point of view too (they were kids barely older than me, officiating multiple games that day etc.). Memories and perspective of break ups of relationships or friendships also will often mature similarly. It is when this process gets stuck that psychological pathology is present and sadly when lives can be ruined.
Involving a specialist in these situations will almost invariably work to change perspectives of past events. This involves multiple techniques depending on the situation but as an example, a PTSD sufferer will often need to relive an event/events and process the emotions experienced at the time; being guided to reinterpret them to establish that there is some sense of control and reduce feelings of guilt or shame (this summary is quite oversimplified). I've been blessed to see people go through this process a few times, amazing to observe!
The good part about this is that we too can harness a similar technique that most of us already do unconsciously with time. Good teams will do this as a debrief after major incidents. Carrying this out in a focused manner makes the process more efficient and allows us to take away more lessons from the same. This could be as simple as a daily reflection at the end of a day - whether in prayer, discussing your day with someone, journaling etc. By bringing each daily event into sharp focus, considering the emotions/thoughts and other variables attached (also the perspectives of others involved) and wrestling with these thoughts until it reaches a peace in our mind. This peace will then reduce tensions, quell anxieties and allow for much more restful sleep, and a more functional person the next morning!
Work on your perspective of the past, wrestle with it, mould it and shape it until it brings you peace.
Prov 14 v 30: A peaceful heart gives life to the body...