Standards are an in-built group of measurements that we use to guide our actions and interactions with others, "Are we measuring up to our (or others) standards?". Some seem relatively obvious to most (think 10-commandements: "thou shall not murder") while some are more subtle and situation dependent ("I won't use my phone in front of my small children). These base-line rules often start from our upbringing and are moulded by significant influences in our early life, such as parents, grandparents, teachers etc.  Often these standards will demonstrate our value and respect: of others, of ourselves and of society at large.

A common saying whilst I was working in the military was "The standard you walk past is the standard you set". I used to cringe at hearing this as it seemed so cliché and trite; a phrase a leader could use to try and inspire while addressing the troops, but then not necessarily live up to this calling. The spirit of the saying however, also brings to mind the biblical story of The Good Samaritan. The story is of a Hebrew man that was attacked while on a journey, ignored by 2 Hebrew passers-by who would have been seen as highly moral and upstanding citizens (a priest and a church staff member) and then finally cared for above and beyond by a person of low social standing in Hebrew circles; even hated for his race by the very man that he was looking after.

This was a fictional story, and yet reveals many truths and is designed to provoke the listener into considering their own shortcomings. The story subtly pushes the audience into placing themselves in the position of each character, and our original standards quote causes us to consider the two that chose to pass by, for reasons left unstated by the storyteller (Jesus himself). Were they hurrying to an equally important task? Afraid of an ambush and being attacked themselves? Just not wanting to put in the energy? Thinking about this story also makes me cringe, not for the cliché reasons as before - but the truth that I have been the passer-by in multiple similar situations (admittedly not normally as serious as a battered person) and have come up with all these excuses to walk past: no time, someone else is waiting for me, I don't want to expend the effort it will take (probably the worst of all). The words are convicting and cause the engaged reader to question their standing on helping someone in need. The example is an excellent one as in this situation it is very easy to see the costs of stopping to help a stranger (and in this case almost an enemy) without being able to see any benefits to the self for the sacrifice made.

I appreciate words I recently listened to by a man named Pedro Adao. His philosophy on wanting to improve your own life in a quick manner is simply to raise your own standards. My new standard is: "I will work out 5 days per week," "I do not drink alcohol on weekdays," "I am a present father" (I'm speaking to myself on a number of these!). This could most certainly be applied to the Samaritan example "though it may cost me, I will stop to help someone in need".

These changes do require discipline, but setting yourself a standard means that you will not tolerate failing these, because if you don't live up to your own standards you then are not living with integrity to yourself. Act as if someone you respect is watching you (even your future self).

I recommend taking some time out (an afternoon, a day, even a week if you can!) on a regular basis to think through and set yourself some standards to live by. For this I like to play thought games (does anyone remember that TV show "Hypotheticals"?): If this was the situation (a person lying in the road etc.) how would I most likely act vs what action could I take to be most proud/satisfied with my efforts afterwards? If the answer to the two of these questions is vastly different this may require some internal work to get to the position where your answer would cause you to be most happy with yourself (or most able to live with your decision afterwards). Work out what is important to you, and set the bar high enough that the standards aren't something just anyone can do, but make them achievable enough that you won't fail them - whether or not someone else is watching.

As an addendum to this week's blog - my thoughts and prayers go out to the families of those recently lost in the military helicopter crash last weekend. I didn't know these members personally but pray for strength for those left behind.